Recently, I have received emails with questions of proper dining etiquette. "How do I choose a restaurant?", "What do I wear?", "Who pays?", etc..

I have also noticed a disturbing trend on the dining scene as of late with cases of sloppily dressed men, poor dining habits and the courtesy challenged to the extent where I possess the urge to walk up to them and publicly humiliate them in front of their soon-to-be-once-date and an establishment full of onlookers.

However, thinking it over, I decided to take not-so-drastic measures and construct a point-by-point system where you are sure to win over your date, insuring that a second date will be eminent.

• Start with asking questions. Discuss what style of cuisine she enjoys and if she has a favorite restaurant in her area. If it's a rather pricey establishment, Don't shy away from taking her there. Take comfort in the fact that she will be impressed beyond belief. (Okay, maybe her tastes are a bit extravagant,  and shame on her for throwing that one out there, but if you truly like her, then spare no expense on this one.)
• Once you've chosen the restaurant, call immediately and make a reservation. I know some people make the mistake of thinking, well if we have to wait to be seated, at least we can still talk and interact. Wrong! The best place for that is comfortably in your seat at your table. And forget about waiting at the bar. It's overly crowded, loud and chances are the creep standing on the opposite side of her will be cutting in to your conversation. Keep her at the table with all the focus on YOUR evening together.
  
• If she decides to meet you at the restaurant, check with the hostess/host as to how long they will hold your reservation. (I know how us women sometimes have issues with punctuality, but it's usually because we are stressing over our appearance for the evening.) If you must take your table at the requested time, be seated and give her a call. Don't say "Where are you?? or How much longer are you going to be?" Simply inform her that you are at the restaurant, seated and would she like you to order her a drink. She will usually tell you her whereabouts without you seeming pushy. I agree however, that we females should get it in gear and arrive on time. Usually we do, but there is always the rare occasion in which you should be prepared.
  
• Once you are both seated at the table, discuss the menu and share with one another about what you like. Again, sky's-the-limit here. It's a first date for crying out loud. So if appetizers look good, order them. The same goes for dessert.
  
• After dinner is finished, excuse yourself from the table and find your server. Hand them your credit card and tell them to settle up the check when it is time. This will prevent any discussion over who is paying the bill. No discussion, YOU are paying.
  
• When ready to leave, pull her seat for her and help her with her coat if she is wearing one. Walk her to her vehicle, or yours, whichever applies. Open the door for her, and.......(To be continued)

EXTRA TIPS

Dress 

Wear dressy and clean clothes. No sneakers, ball caps or jeans. Wear a dress shirt that is not wrinkled as well as dress pants. You don't need a sport coat or tie (unless it's required by the restaurant.) You could also substitute the dress shirt for a sweater. But make sure it matches the pants. No Pastels or Bill Cosby specials. Wear matching shoes with socks. And not white socks. Match your socks to your pants or as close as you can get them. 

Wine 

Does she drink wine? Well, if she does, it's very important that you look like you've done this before. First of all, plan on buying a bottle. It's less expensive than ordering by the glass for the two of you. 

Do you want Red or White wine? Well, here's how it traditionally works. White wine goes with lighter foods such as chicken, salads or fish. Red goes with steaks or any food containing red sauces. Blush wines go with anything else such as dessert, crab cakes, etc.. When you decide what the two of you are having for dinner, it should be an easier decision. Ask her if she has a preference. If she leaves it up to you then you decide. Don't be afraid to ask the server if they have any suggestions based on what you're having for dinner. DO NOT let them pressure you into ordering a high grade wine. You don't have to break the bank on this one. Keep it simple but impressive. 

When the server arrives with the wine, inspect the label and vintage to insure that it it indeed what you ordered. The server will then hand you the cork. Be sure that it it not dried and cracked. This would indicate that the wine is stale. This is more common in red wines. Once the server pours you a small amount, check the aroma by swirling it lightly around the glass. Check for any odors such as vinegar or rotten eggs. If this is the case, tell your server and have a new bottle brought back. If the wine is fine, then take a small taste to check the flavor. Give a nod that it's good and they will proceed to pour the wine. From here on in, if you are pouring your own wine, only fill the glass to the lower one-third. This lets air in and enhances the flavor.

Most importantly, DON'T ALLOW YOURSELF TO GET DRUNK!!

Eating

Never eat with your mouth open. Never eat with your hands, unless it's bread. I'm assuming with this being a formal date that you won't be eating sandwiches. Invite her to help herself to whatever you are eating. This in turn may have her reciprocating. This makes the evening much more intimate in my opinion. This immediately opens up trust and a sign that she is not repulsed by you. When the server asks if you would like coffee or dessert, say "Sure, we'll take a look at what you have" or "Do you have a suggestion?" If she does not want dessert then you do not want dessert. If she does, then so do you. Perhaps if she is teetering, you can offer to share dessert. Again, intimacy. Get what she likes and don't hog it all. 

Table Manners

Make eye contact during conversation. Don't move around in your seat too much and don't play with the utensils. Place your napkin on your lap when the food arrives and if the server hasn't done so, hand her the menu first before opening up yours. If bread arrives at the table, offer to pass or cut her a slice.  And once again, do not eat with your mouth open. 

Conversation

Don't bring up uncomfortable topics such as politics, religion, the social climate, etc..
Keep the conversation light and enjoyable. Remember, you don't want to scare her off by upsetting her. Ask a lot of questions about her and always appear to be interested. You will get your chance because she will want to know all about you too, but wait until she initiates those questions before confidently discussing all of your merits. And this goes without saying, but within your evening conversation, work in the possibility of a second date. Don't be pushy, just go with the flow and have a terrific evening together, Good luck.